It’s Friday, October 19th and I’m here on the sidelines of the Caldwell County High School football stadium admiring the tiger mural on the side of the gym. The game that decides the locale and seeding of the district playoffs is finally here.

So what am I thinking about? Trigg defense? Tiger passing game? F-stops and shutter speed? Best shooting locations?

None of the above. I’m standing here wondering when I am going to get my own reality show. It’s got to be getting close to my turn.

Let me explain, I am a pretty big fan of many of these TV masterpieces. Survivor? Big fan. Didn’t you just love Rupert? The Apprentice? Pretty good, but it’s a primetime job interview. Hell’s Kitchen? I love it but let’s get real, they’re hiring a cook.

Dancing with the Stars? Yawn. America’s Biggest Loser? It’s a show about average people losing weight. Okay, I really like that one. Kitchen Nightmares? A show about cleaning up restaurants? What’s up with that?

You catching what I’m throwing? Are you picking up what I’m throwing down? My turn for heavens sake! I got it all. I’m the total package. I’m almost freakishly tall with somewhat weathered, craggy, campy looks (that’s a nice way of saying “aging fast”).

For the rest of this column, read this week's Cadiz Record.