Stagner saves gas and stays home, plus Diamond Club
by Monty Stagner
Jun 25, 2008 | 0 0 comments | 3 3 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Good news abounds courteous readers, I’ve found a short term cure for our bank account woes due to outrageously priced gasoline. It’s called “staying home”. The old Ford uses very little gas when sitting in the driveway. When you must venture out for such mundane things as making a living, try to incorporate various errands into your day. It can be something of a logistical game that can be enjoyed by the entire family. Europe and the rest of the world have had high priced gasoline for decades and they have adjusted nicely by driving cars the size of Barbie’s Corvette. However, after raising two kids involved with sports and all the equipment that goes with that I now understand why soccer is the number one sport in those countries. All you need is a ball.

Staying home isn’t all that bad with all the new exciting TV programming coming to homes everywhere very soon. One especially has caught my attention as I’m sure yours. “Hurl” is a contestant type program where the folk first have an eating contest then get on fast merry-go-rounds and other nauseating contraptions and the last one to “hurl” (puke) wins the cash prize. Can you envision well paid grown men in suits sitting around a mahogany table discussing this one? “I agree J.R., blowing lunch is the next big thing, we must garner our share or heads will roll!” And “Celebrity Rehab” is must see TV. We’ve always known they were messed up; we just had no idea how much. On a positive note, I’ve learned about logging in the Northwest, working on oil rigs in West Texas, crab boats in Alaska, and the list goes on. So it’s not all bad. I thought I might use this home time to get the wife to bump up her kitchen skills by tuning in to the Food Network. I casually called her into the room and had a Paula Dean cooking show on and asked “doesn’t that look good, why don’t you try that honey?” She replied “don’t be silly, that stove could be hot, burn baby” “Huh?” Turns out when my wife was a little girl she went into the kitchen where her mother, a legendary chef, was plying her craft and burned her hand on the stove then ran out of the room screaming “hot, hot, burn baby” and vowed not to go back. So far so good. In 20 years of marriage we’ve had 3 sets of washers and dryers, 3 refrigerators, 2 dishwashers, but the original stove is like new. So I got that project in the works until football season gets here. I need football bad. I need that concession stand.

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